El Bulli's nori croquant, little voices, and my kitchen alter ego

Snap! Thwack!  Buzz!

"Shit!"

And with that, my mind began to race.  "How are you gonna finish making the nori croquant now?," said the smug little voice in my head.  "You have to get to work and Rachel's going to be pissed that you broke the food processor."

Yes I had.  Sitting in my hand was a shard of plastic, and sitting in the bowl of the processor was the chopper blade it used to hold in place.

"Shut up," I replied, but I had to admit the little voice had a point.  I was running late and I still had large chunks of hardened sugar that had to be ground into a powder if I was ever actually going to finish making the damn croquant.

No problem, I'll just reattach the blade, press PULSE, and...

Snap! Thwack!  Buzz!

"Shit!"

Then it happened.  I morphed into the ultimate cross between a nueva cocina chef and a jury-rigging, secret agent hero: I became Ferran MacGyvrià.

I fashioned a solution using only the meagre resources available to me: an oven, a Silpat, a rolling pin, a Ziploc bag, and the very same broken food processor.

I won't bore you with the details.  Suffice it to say I stayed cool under pressure, while exhibiting the sort of ingenuity, resourcefulness, culinary ability, and manly determination that make women swoon and other men crumble under the weight of their own jealousy.  And my hair looked fantastic too.

"Nice work," cooed the voice in my head.  And it was.

El Bulli's nori croquant is made by mixing a package of nori, thin sheets of Japanese seaweed, into a mixture of glucose, isomalt, and fondant heated to the hardcrack stage.  The mixture is allowed to harden completely, then it is ground in a Thermomix, a do-it-all device that would make the real MacGyver proud (take it from me, a regular food processor isn't really up to the task.  I lust for a Thermomix).  The powder is then sifted over a Silpat, sprinkled lightly with salt, and allowed to melt again in a hot oven.  The result is a paper-thin sugar candy.

Ferran Adria's dishes are supposed to inspire an emotional response, and the nori croquant is a humourous piece of trompe l'oeil gastronomy that does just that.  Nori croquant, with its green-black sheen, bears an uncanny resemblance to a sheet of sushi nori; so much so that I had one co-worker refuse a piece because that's what he thought it was.

It tastes good, though not extraordinary.  The dominant taste is sweet, but the mineral taste of nori is very distinct, and the salt adds an occasional punch.  The brittle texture adds another level of interest.  I had many friends try it, and the results were straightforward: those who enjoy nori, like the croquant; one person who dislikes nori described the croquant as "interesting," and you know what they say about faint praise.

"Hmmm, time to order that replacement part for the food processor," my little inner voice said.  "I can't wait to try the next recipe."

"Wrong," I replied.  "Time for Ferran MacGyvrià to talk to Rachel about a Thermomix."

Comments

[keiko]

Rob, your beautiful creation made nori very posh :) I've got loads at hand so maybe I should give it a try too...

[Brett]

Good luck, MacGyvrià! Hope you get that Thermomix. I've burnt out a few blender motors myself, but I have yet to bust a food processor.

Excellent blog. Can't wait to read more.

[MM]

Hah! That happened to me during Chinese New Year in the midst of cooking up a storm. I was left there with huge amounts of work left to do and no food processor. I had to rush out to the shops to buy a replacement before they closed. Man, it was hairy!

Not sure I would wanna taste the tori croquant though. Flashback of "candied" nori which the girls kept munching on in school. Bloody horrible stuff.

[Ivonne]

Yes but can you make a generator run using only a gum wrapper and a bobby pin???

Seriously, very funny post! You're great Rob ... very creative ... maybe you should be the GM of the Leafs??? Interested???

[Bea at La Tartine Gourmande]

Hi Rob,

Very funny and impressive. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to witness your kitchen journey! Well done. You made it! Looks great.

[rob]

Keiko, this is a wonderful way to use leftover nori, but there is one catch: the recipe calls for fondant, isomalt, and glucose. If you have those ingredients, I'd be happy to send you the recipe.

Brett, thanks for stopping by and thanks especially for the compliments. We burnt out the blender motor a couple of years ago making liver brownies (shudder!) for the dog. It still runs, but it doesn't have quite the same kick.

MM, do they really have candied nori in Singapore? What is it? Do you think it's made the same way? You really can learn volumes about a culture by its junk food, don't you think?

Thanks for the encouragement, Ivonne, but even I can't make winners of the current edition of the Leafs.

Bea, listenening to my foul tongue while screwing up a recipe is not the most enjoyable way for anyone trapped in a fly's body to pass the time, I swear.

[MM]

Rob, I think it was actually from Japan as it had Japanese words on the wrapper. I never bought it but I saw all the girls clutching it. It was very "in" for a while there to emulate the Japanese. I left before I was brainwashed into eating it though. LOL. My junk food was Maltesers! Yums!

PS. I have recipe books envy now.

[rachel]

MM, Rob has a personal weakness for Maltesers -- being part Maltese!

[carlo]

What recipe number is the nori croquant recipe?